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the stuff below

todays friday and im doin nothin, i have no plans for the weekend.  im kinda just too shy to ask ple if they want to hang out or anythng! anyway, i hve finals rto study for.. but still.. actually my friends from my skool last yeAr i invite them over almost every single week,.. but i cnt ivite them ovr my moms havin company or sumthin and no1 invited me anywhere yeT :( o well.. finals suck i cant stand them! !  ahhh.. im gonna ask mi friends if they want to come over next week hopefully they will invite me to places too.. hopefully..
haha funni story on my school bus today! we were all squished in, especially Veronica shes so funny she was sittin on the floor w/ her legs on the seat it ws a mini bus there was no room nd there was like 20 pple hhaa

but still..
i think the pple on my bus and sum others dont like me that much to be friends with anyway b.c im not that "witty",.. for lack of a better word lol.. like they say stuff mean to be sarcastic and im kinda "scared" also for lack of a better word with them, so i get kinda tense dont no wat to say back. so they think im not fun and that im weird

***sighh****

again, my life sucks. not to be complainin at least i no sum pple care about me and no1s sick or anythin.. thats good and all but sTTiLLLLLLLLLLLL...

i also dont reeli like listenin 2 a lot of the popular songs or the radio so wenevr like pple sing to songs im just sittin there smilin its so dumbbb

thanks 2 everyone for all ur advice u guys are really nice

and.. i hve NO experience w/ guys whatsoever,.,.. no guy has even liked me, ive never dance w/ a guys (i hate dancin btw) i d k how 2 dance for my life ive never had a boyfriend or kissed any one and im alsmot 15! I Dont even have any guy friends this is pretty sad man.. lol.. well any tips on  how to meet guys nonw of my freidns have boyfriends and i dont do sports at all i draw and sing and stuff soo idk..

ttyl
~*~ Mary ~*~

I HATE THEM SO MUCH.  she is so mean.  the pple in my town and bus, i mean.  i like most of them, i ws pretti tight wiff them last yr.  but a couple of them.. just isolate me and make me feel bad subtly.  yeahh.. im so sad.  they talk and laugh and stuff likEE on the bus but once shes around onli me, i try to talk to her and stuff but she just ignores me and if she answers she answers like a one-syllable word sharply. ahh! it makes me so mad and sad and everything.  and im SO nice its not evn freaKin fuNNi to them and they're just ignoring me.  evn the annoying silent kinda meanish girl, they like her more than me.  they invited EVERY SINGLE person on the bus to go to sumwhere, i forget where, without me!! and they talk about it right in my face but in such a way u can tell they're not inviting me there.  and i just want to SCREAM! get me off that bus they are so hurtful! and i hvnt told ne1 yett... im too embarrassed...plus by old bffs are slowly separating from mee..

what to do?

im going to cry..

gotta go study for finals.. ttyl

***MAry*****

why is it that everytime i write in here im studying? oh maybe its because i have to freakin study my WHOLE life man this is crazy.. well this wknd sucked.. although i did go shopping w/ my friend that was pretty fun.. and i saw her concer the next day and i saw hp w/ my family :( it ws a good movie tho.. anywayS well thats all i saw of my freiends this wknd!! now guyz tell me the truth,.. does it sound like i have a sad life or does it seem like im just "walloiwing" in my own unhappiness when its really not that bad.. do i really have no life? my friend decided not to go out smokin and drinking at wild parties... thank GOD i was dying. but shes still hangs out with her new friends.

im still pretty alone.

i love my friends.. but do they love me???

charles darwin and his theory of evolution... i wish i wuld evolve into a really cool person that every guy and girl wanted to hang out with.
*sigh*

heyy.. new update on the oh-so-interesting storii of my liFee... LoL..OkAy heRe's how iT goes...

i hunG out w/ my "supposedly" best friend.. my neighbor ok her name is sHeLLY...[[thats her reaL name cuz i know sHe wuLD diE b4 reAding oNe of these thinGss.. LoL]]]  anywaySs.. i forGot how muChH fuN i hve with her.. and even though she doesnt teLL me everything, i know she'll do anything for me and she cares about people.  sO im gonna tryyy 2 sPenD moRE tiMe with Her and whaTnot... iss good b/C her parents and my parents are cousiNs, and she lives around the corNer from me, son if we waNNA see more of each oTHEr iTs nOT tOO difiCULT... anyWays she pLays the guiTar and Stuff she's PreTTy dARn gOOd.. she Also doEs fieLd hockii i've NevEr sEEn her PlAY tho.. soRRiii iM riTiN liKe tHis.. iM boREd so I FeEL liKE iT LoL.. sO one oF my oTHer sUPPOsedly beSt frIenDS... tHe oNe thatS "sO fUNNY".. asS i wroTe b4.. weLL fOR aBOUT a mntH noww.. sheS bEEn geTTin iN w/ the "wroNG croWD".. as my friendS hve bEEN teLLin Me... aND now she toLD me thereS thiS girL shes bEEN hanGin with a Lot.. and now shES "closer"to hER thaN all of us who sHEs Known for alMOst eVer siNCe she movVEd from Barbados [[ino.. awesum!! LoL] iN liKeee firSt graDe.. anYWAyz... aLL of a suDDEn noW she teLLs me shes NoT goNNa hang out w/ us as much, and that she tells that girl more stuff about herself than us and confisfes in her and tells her about family probLeMS whiLe she nezVer toLD us..., and noW shes goNNa go 2 wiLDD partIes and smOKe and geT drUNk w/ thEM... she SaYz itS b/c she wanTs to knOW how it wiLL feel and it is so much FuN.. and we are all prwettty "good girlS" not gooDie two-shoes but we're not like reBels or everything and we 're aLL surpised but mostly Me b/c i rEELi thought i was her bfff!! u dON t kNow how sad tHis maKes me feel.. i doNt know wat i shuld dooo any comments??

now,.. aLL this happened about a moNth ago.. but iM finALLi writiN all my fEElins down.. i hgvnT reeli dUn anyThinG yeTTT.. so CoMMents aRe stiLL very welCOme!!